Mindless Chatter and Strange Happenings
by Unmarked In Death As In Life
Summary: The knights and Merlin are out of a hunting trip in a forest they've never visited before when they get trapped within an invisible forcefield 'cage' where no-one can find them. To make matters worse, they have limited food, water and strange things begin to happen. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I've spent so much time crying over the last episode and I didn't want anyone else to feel as awful as I did... As I still do. Sooo I decided to try something different and write a humour fanfiction to cheer myself and everyone else up :) I haven't decided whether or not there will be any pairings yet, but I have a good idea of what will happen!:D _

_This is set anytime after Guinevere was cured and before bitchface Kara appeared c: _

_Rated T for language._

_Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin._

_Sorry for my awful writing and please forgive me if I make spelling and grammar mistakes. Feel free to critique/criticise anything; I really don't mind._

* * *

"Where are we even going?" Merlin asked again, wondering why they'd gone this deep into a forest they'd never entered before. "You have no idea what type of creatures could be waiting to brutally kill us."

"Don't be such a coward, Merlin." Arthur scoffed, the rest of the knights laughed lightly. "We're on a simple hunting trip, what could possibly happen?"

Merlin rolled his eyes, annoyed at how naive Arthur was. Just as the young warlock had expected, the King had spoke too soon. As the knights tried to venture forward, they were thrown back by an invisible wall. When they tried to turn back, another wall greeted then and sent them flying. The wall circled them like a cage, trapping them inside with no escape like they were creatures ready for slaughter.

"What is this sorcery?!" Arthur gasped, stumbling to his feet and brushing off his clothes. He then raised his voice, trying to project it so whoever had conjured the wall could hear him. "I am the King of Camelot, I demand you to let me through!" A laughter caught on the wind and cackled throughout the ears of the knights.

"What did I tell you, Arthur?" Merlin said loudly, helping the other knights to their feet.

"Oh, shut up, Merlin!" Arthur said loudly, throwing himself on the floor and leaning his face on his fist. He sighed heavily, wanting to quickly escape from the invisible cage they were trapped in. The feeling of having no freedom made him feel weak and, as the King of Camelot, he hated that feeling more than most things.

Merlin chuckled under his breath, finding the whole situation quite amusing. There was a high chance that him and Mordred could undo the enchantment, but there was also the chance that he could be risking exposure for nothing. And that really wouldn't end well.

"What now?" Gwaine said, his tone making it clear to everyone that he was already incredibly bored. And when Gwaine was bored, they were all doomed.

"I don't know." Arthur spat, hating that he had to admit that he was at a loss. He didn't like not knowing what to do, and he certainly wasn't looking forward to the consequence that would come with the situation. If Gwaine had alcohol, they were all doomed.

"Fuck this." Gwaine said loudly, throwing himself to the floor and then rummaging through his bag. He smiled as he found a metal container and pulled it out rapidly. The other knights cursed under their breaths, knowing what would soon come. "Hello, my dear." Gwaine grinned, unscrewing the cap and downing the liquid within in one gulp. Everyone only hoped that that was his last bottle, but they all knew it wouldn't be."

* * *

_Just a short introduction :) _  
_Hopefully the next chapter will be muuuuch longer and I'll probably upload it later on today/tomorrow :)_

_Merry Christmas :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Like I said, I'm updating this again today because I want to at least try and cheer others up. And doing it may cheer me up too. Merlin will never end; it will continue to live on in our hearts._

_I've started watching Merlin from the beginning again so it never has to end and I can just keep rewatching it. I will NEVER watch past s5e10 though because episode 11 breaks my hearts, though nowhere near as much as the last episode. Yup. Made myself cry again by thinking about it. Smart._

_Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin._

_Sorry for my awful writing and please forgive me if I make spelling and grammar mistakes. Feel free to critique/criticise anything; I really don't mind._

/

"And then the three smelly pigs ambushed Percival like he was an upside down... lily flower." Gwaine slurred, smiling to himself happily.

"Why do I have to be involved in this?" Percival said loudly, sighing and rolling his eyes at the drunk knight.

"My powers of flowers are... Ooh, that rhymed." Gwaine beamed, taking another gulp of ale. Leon glared at him, wondering how he could be so irresponsible at a time like this. They had to find a way to escape, not sit listening to mindless chatter from their woozy friend.

Arthur sighed, turning to see if Mordred and Merlin were doing anything more useful. They were sat opposite each other, both with their legs crossed deep in conversation. The last time Arthur had checked, they'd been playing some silly game like peek-a-boo or something childish like that. At least it kept their small minds preoccupied and stopped them from turning insane from boredom.

Arthur sighed and frowned, moodily throwing himself to the floor. If he couldn't find something to keep himself amused, maybe he could force himself to sleep. That would temporarily cure his boredom, but he'd be screwed once more when he woke up.

Closing his eyes, Arthur tried to think back to home. He pictured Guinevere's beautiful smile in his head and he watched her dancing in his head for a while before he drifted into a light sleep.

/

"Guess what, Merlin?" Mordred's voice laughed inside Merlin's head. He smiled, enjoying the game they were playing. "Arthur's in a mood because he's grumpy and he doesn't like being the stupid clotpole he is."

Merlin laughed aloud, unable to contain it for much longer. The tone Mordred had used had just been the perfect touch to mocking Arthur. Percival and Leon glared at the two of them with confusion, wondering what the pair were laughing at. Gwaine however burst into laughter and continued to chuckle furiously until tears were streaming down his face.

"What's so funny?" Leon asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"What's so funny?" Merlin said mockingly in Mordred's head, making the young knight bite his lip in attempt to not burst into laughter.

"Thats the funniest thing I've ever heard!" Gwaine choked, unable to stop his chuckling. Everyone stared at him, honestly confused as to why he was laughing. Within seconds they just concluded that it was because he was Gwaine, and they turned back to the magical pair trying to bite back their own hysterical giggles.

"We're just playing a game." Merlin grinned, trying to seem as innocent as possible. Leon just shook his head in disapproval while Percival just turned back to Gwaine.

"Oh my god! Can't you just imagine them getting married and stuff?" Gwaine said merrily, pointing at Mordred and Merlin.

"What?!" They both gasped, cheeks flushing crimson.

"Merlin and Mordred sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, second comes the marriage, third comes the baby in the golden carriage." Gwaine sang, smiling at the darkening sky. "Ooh, even better!" He said loudly, before Merlin or Mordred could react to his little song. "Gwaine and Percival sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-"

"What?!" Percival gasped, trying to act like his cheeks weren't bright red. He didnt want to let Gwaine bother him, he always acted this way when he was drunk, but it still did bugged him. However Gwaine paid no attention to Percival's protest and continued to happily sing.

"Leon and that tree sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes the tree babies and then comes trees."

"How can a tree sit in a tree?" Merlin laughed, picturing it in his head. The image was amusing, but it also confused him. Before banishing the thought from his head, he whispered to Mordred. "Imagine a tree sat in a tree. Imagine this alien thing that's like half Leon, half tree."

The two toppled over, making each other laugh even more by making little comments involving Leon and trees. Tears trickled down their faces as they continued to chuckle, their ribs hurting. They both were sprawled across the floor, roaring with uncontrollable laughter, even giggling in each other's minds. Percival watched the two of them with surprise, one eyebrow raised, filled with confusion at what was so hilarious.

"Leon and rabbits sitting in a bush, K-I-S-S-Y-X-Z. Now I know my ABCs, next time sing along with me." Gwaine grinned, looking extremely pleased with himself. He puffed his chest out with pride, showing off his skill of the alphabet.

"I don't know what's worse." Percival began. "Them two in stitches or Gwaine's singing. I'm surprised Arthur's still asleep."

"Believe me, he's not." Arthur groaned, covering his ears with his hands. "Right now, I would actually use magic I'm so desperate."

/

"Merlin!?" Arthur bellowed, finally losing his patience. "Stop laughing! You too, Mordred!"

"I can't breathe." Merlin wheezed, breathing deeply and trying not to laugh. However, it felt impossible for him to do so, especially with Mordred still telepathically speaking to him.

"Or I'll come and make you shut up!"

/

"One day, there will be these big metal things that people will use to get places and you'll put this thick black stuff in which will make it work. Horses won't be used. That sounds like a horrible world. Poor horses. What will come of them?" Gwaine said, his voice becoming thicker and thicker until several tears were trickling from his eyes.

"Stop talking nonsense." Arthur said through gritted teeth, his patience with everyone getting thinner. If he remained here for even a minute longer, he'd go insane like Gwaine. "Everyone should just shut up."

Everything went silent for a minute before Gwaine decided he had something to announce. "I just farted!" He grinned.

/

"Is it red?" Mordred asked, wanting to win this round of their game.

"Partly." Merlin replied.

"Is it an animal?"

"Yes."

"Is it clever?"

"No."

"Is it a prat?"

"Yes."

"It's Arthur, isn't it?"

"Obviously." Merlin said, grinning lopsidedly.

"MERLIN!?"

/

"Four drunken knights sitting on the wall, drinking all ale and stealing it all from me. Those bastards." Gwaine sang, rocking his head side to side as he did so. "Twinkle twinkle, little-"

"SHUT UP GWAINE!"

"Chill your beans, Arthur." Gwaine slurred casually then giggled. "Beans, beans, good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you fart, the more you fart, the more you eat, the more you sit on the toilet seat."

/

"I think I'm going insane." Arthur mumbled, sticking his fingers in his ears and trying to collect what actually sanity he had left.

"We need to get out of here." Leon said through gritted teeth, annoyed that everyone had just given up. "Before I lose my mind."

"Leon?"

"What, Gwaine!?"

"When are you and that tree getting married? I can't wait to attend it! It'll be fabulous! Make sure you have plenty of ale and, ooh, I have some left!" Gwaine grinned, downing the remainders of the bottle and licking the edges.

"Are you ever sober?"

/

_I hope you liked it :) Gonna try and update this again by tomorrow/tomorrow :D  
This is actually so fun to write :') _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Woo, another update :) I hope you are all enjoying this c:  
Writing it is actually helping cheer me up. To me, Merlin will never end... NEVER._

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin. If I did, this would probably happen and I would never let it end.

Sorry for my awful writing and please forgive me if I make spelling and grammer mistakes. Feel free to critique/criticise anything; I really don't mind.

/

"Hey! Ho! To the bottle, I go, to heal my heart and drown my soul-"

"Shut up, Gwaine!" Percival said loudly, starting to lose his patience with the singing drunk. Gwaine looked at the big knight who had just shouted at him and grinned.

"You have beautiful eyes." Gwaine smiled even wider. "Like pools of ale."

"Trust Gwaine to bring alcohol into everything." Leon muttered.

/

"Hey, guys! I have an idea, but first we must gather in a circle." Gwaine said excitedly. "Then maybe you won't get so bored."

Arthur sighed and did as Gwaine said, willing to do pretty much anything to stop himself from going insane. Leon, who had only wanted to do practical things minutes ago, seemed to be more willing now and also went to sit in the circle. Percival, Mordred and Merlin decided they might as well play too.

Gwaine grinned and placed one of his bottles in the middle of their circle. He roughly flicked it so it quickly span around. The other knights, and Merlin, stared at the bottle in complete confusion, until it stops. The top end of the bottle seemed to be pointing towards Mordred and he feared what Gwaine would do to him.

"Truth or dare, bitch!?" Gwaine grinned.

"Um, I'm not playing!" Mordred quickly mumbled, clambering to his feet and leaving the circle.

/

"You're all boring." Gwaine shouted slowly, trying to emphasis each word. Leon scoffed, thinking in his head that he'd rather be boring than incredibly stupid. Due to his nobility, he said nothing to any of them, feeling it would be unfair to insult them aloud. Arthur however seemed to disagree.

"Shut up Gwaine, you useless drunk. Some of knights may be boring, but I'm certainly not! I know how to have fun."

"Yeah, like cats know to fly." Merlin muttered, making Mordred chuckle.

"What was that?" Arthur snapped, rising to his feet and towering over Merlin. "If you do not tell me, I will kill you, Merlin."

"No, you won't!" Merlin grinned lopsidedly. "Because I could kill you before you get to me."

"No, you couldn't." Arthur laughed. "You're too much of a girl. And killing a king is a treason."

"Imagine if Merlin was a girl." Gwaine giggled.

/

"Arthur and Merlin and Mordred and Gwaine and Percival and not Leon sitting a tree because they're F-U-N-N-Y. Leon and that tree are sitting on the moon, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U-"

"SHUT UP GWAINE!" Arthur bellowed, losing his patience once again.

"I'm kicking you out of our tree, Arthur."

/

"I love you, Percy!" Gwaine announced after not speaking for several minutes. Percival stared at the drunken knight with confusion, questioning why it had to be him. He didn't like always being the one that Gwaine was 'in love' with.

"One day we should sit in that tree and do the things included in editions of my favourite song." Gwaine grinned. Percival blushed, feeling greatly embarrassed by his tipsy friend. He knew that Gwaine didn't really mean any of it, but that didn't make it any less humiliating.

"And they said romance was dead." Mordred laughed.

/

"Once upon a time, there was this sorcerer who married a druid and the King didn't approve because he didn't like magic, but his drunken knight really didn't mind. He personally thought it was adorable." Gwaine said loudly, smiling. "One of the other knights was a boring idiot and the other one was tall. He and the drunk one helped the druid boy and the warlock defy the king. And then the King got mad because the sorcerer was special to him and he was confused."

Mordred and Merlin exchanged looks, wondering if Gwaine knew the truth about their magic. It was almost as though he was creating a funny story to hint at the other knights that they both had gifts.

"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked nervously, gulping loudly.

"Stories of happiness." Gwaine replied with a huge grin.

"He's talking crap." Arthur said bluntly, tired of Gwaine's stories.

"Good."

/

"I've got a lovely bunch if coconuts, there they are standing a row." Gwaine sang, pointing to each of his companions in turn. "Big ones, small ones, some the size of your head!"

"Do you ever shut up? You're worse than Merlin." Arthur moaned.

/

"What's for dinner, mum?" Gwaine asked, smiling and moving closer to Leon. "I'm starving."

"Do we have food?" Arthur asked hopefully.

"Only a little." Leon sighed, reaching in his bag and handing each of them some bread.

"This tastes funny." Gwaine complained in a giggly voice.

/

"Merlin, I know some games we can play and tease the others." Mordred's voice said joyfully in Merlin's head. "Magic games."

"Count me in."

/

Arthur paced backwards and forwards besides one of the walls, trying to figure some way out. Gwaine's babbling was really affecting his brain and he was starting to get hungry. Really hungry.

He turned to everyone and cleared his throat for attention, waiting for them all to look his way. When they did, he opened his mouth to speak but never got the chance to say anything as everyone, even Leon, started laughing at him. King Arthur of Camelot had just lost his trousers.

/

"Everyone sitting in a tree-"

"FOR GODSAKE GWAINE, SHUT IT!"

"Arthur and his temper running round his knights bring S-T-U-P-I-D." Gwaine giggled.

"I'm going to kill you."

"I doubt you'll be able to."

/

"Hey, what are you two playing?" Arthur asked curiously, sitting down beside Mordred and Merlin. They both grinned, knowing that they could tease and annoy Arthur with their game because he could not play it.

"It's this special game... For special people." Mordred said simply.

"And stupid clotpoles will be useless at it." Merlin grinned.

"You need to have... Good concentration."

"And a brain."

"Shut up, Merlin!" Arthur said spitefully, hitting his manservant round the back of the head.

"Hey, you can't steal my brain?!" Merlin said loudly, grinning wider. Arthur glared at him whilst Mordred just smirked.

"Why would I want a useless brain like yours?"

"Because it's better than your own."

"Let's just play this goddamn game."

"Alright. The rules are simple. This golden coin uses complicated science so that it can read your concentration. If you have the brain power, you can move it with your mind. Only clever people can do it."

"Prove it."

Merlin's eyes flashed gold and the coin moved forward slowly. Arthur gasped and Mordred grinned.

"How did you do that?"

"With concentration."

"Honestly Merlin?! You can't concentrate to save your life."

"I think I can."

"No, you can't."

"I just did. Lets see if you're smart enough to move it."

"More proof? I don't believe it really moved."

"Mordred?" Merlin smiled. Mordred nodded, his eyes flashing gold as he grinned. The coin sped across the ground, moving across a long distance.

"How?" Arthur gasped.

"Merlin already told you." Mordred beamed.

"Let me try." Arthur shouted, clambering to his feet. He concentrated on the coin, narrowing his eyes and try his best to force it move. As expected, it remained still, not even quivering. Arthur groaned with frustration.

"Stupid dollophead." Merlin laughed.

"This coin doesn't prove that I'm stupid."

"My lord." Mordred said, trying to stifle laughter.

"What?" Arthur forced through his teeth.

"You appear to have... Lost your trousers again."

/

To anyone that understood the references I made, here, have some cookies :) To anyone that didn't understand, well I'm not very good at stuff like this so I don't blame you. Either that or you haven't seen what I was referencing too. I should stop babbling about crap.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter c:


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I'm updating again c: _  
_Apparently, I referenced to things I didn't even know I referenced to, haha :D_

_Anyway, I hope you guys are all enjoying this and I hope it's helping cheer you up J_  
_Writing it and getting reviews, follows and favourites is certainly helping cheer me up :D_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, unfortunately._

_Sorry for my awful writing and please forgive me if I make spelling and grammer mistakes. Feel free to critique/criticise anything; I don't mind._

/

"I'm so hungry right now, I could just eat you all raw." Gwaine slurred, pointing to each one of them and then to his stomach.

"Of course you could, Gwaine." Percival laughed. "I think you've just drank waaay too much."

"Or too little."

"Definitely too much."

"Ooh, I just remembered about my secret stock in my left boot." Gwaine grinned, pulling a bottle out of his boot. "Hello my sweet child."

/

"Leon and that tree sitting in a-"

"NOT YOU TOO MERLIN!"

"What? It's catchy."

/

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" Gwaine gasped, slapping himself in the face. "My armour is moving and it's making my arm move and hurting me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Leon said simply, not believing him. Merlin and Mordred looked at each other and burst into laughter, having fun with their childish tricks.

/

"Arthur?" Gwaine said, giggling to himself.

"What?"

"I farted again."

/

"The flower said I wish I was a tree, the tree said I wish I could be a different kind of tree." Gwaine began singing, smiling to himself. "The cat wished that it was a bee. The turtle wished that it could fly, really high into the sky, over rooftops and then dive, deep into the sea."

"What is he singing about now?" Leon said impatiently.

"And in the sea there is a fish, a fish that a secret wish, a wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it."

"I'm going insane." Arthur said for the ten millionth time. "I'm actually going mental."

"The yeti said, I want to be a sea monster so I can swim in the sea with all the sharks."

"I'll be like him soon, babbling on about weird things with wishes and singing random songs."

"A rattlesnake said I wish I had hands so I could hug you like a man and then the cactus said, don't you understand?!"

"And then Guinevere will have to rule because a mental person cannot."

"MY SKIN IS COVERED WITH SHARP SPIKES, THEY'LL STAB YOU LIKE A THOUSAND KNIFES! A hug would be nice, but hug my flower with your eyes."

"ARTHUUUUR!" Merlin whispered in the King's ear, making him jump to attention. His eyes were wide with something like terror and his heart began beating rapidly. He glanced around and jumped again, the sight of Merlin's face scaring him.

"Did I scare you?" Merlin laughed, proud of himself.

"DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!"

/

"Are you pregnant with the tree's babies, Leon?" Gwaine grinned.

"Why would you say such a thing?" Leon gasped, clearly offended.

"You're fat."

/

"Watch this." Mordred telepathically said to Merlin. The young warlock turned his attention to his druid friend and watched as he had his fun. Mordred's eyes glowed amber and patches of grass around Gwaine turned to fire. The drunken knight sprang to his feet, jumping into some type of fighting position to defeat the flames.

"I'm gonna hurt you!"

"Who are you talking to, Gwaine?" Arthur said impatiently, turning to the knight who still in his fighting stance.

"Those horrible flames."

"I think you're hallucinating." Arthur said bluntly, failing to see any flames. Gwaine looked at the grass where the flames had recently been and winced, confused as to why they'd gone.

"But- but-"

"Gwaine, go to sleep." Leon said, laying down himself.

"When they are all asleep, we can have some real fun." Merlin telepathically laughed.

/

"Gwaine, get off me!" Percival gasped, his cheeks burning red.

"But you're my teddy bear!"

/

"And then they all lived in my stomach." Gwaine whispered, drifting off to sleep.

"Thank you for keeping us awake with your terrible story." Arthur muttered."

"Why can't we swap?" Percival whined, not liking having Gwaine wrapped around him and snuggling his face into his shoulder.

"Because you're Gwaine's teddy bear." Arthur laughed.

/

"What shall we do first?" Mordred asked, eyes glinting with excitement. Merlin grinned, trying to think of some exciting tricks.

"We'll think of something."

/

"Where's my teddy bear? The fuck am I flying for?" Gwaine gasped as his eyes flickered open. He flailed his arms around, trying to get back to his precious 'teddy bear.' Mordred's eyes glowed amber and Gwaine plummeted back down to the floor, his fall slowly as he got closer. He laughed softly on Percival and wrapped his arms around him. Gwaine got himself comfortable and then slipped back into his dream world, concluding that what he'd just experienced was also a dream.

/

"Did you just give Arthur donkey ears again?" Mordred chuckled, trying to quietly laugh.

"Maybe." Merlin grinned.

/

"That was awful." Merlin groaned, covering his face.

"What?" Mordred asked curiously.

"Gwaine just farted."

/

Arthur opened his eyes, concluding that he could sleep no longer. The bright sunlight had woken him up, and he had to find a way to get out of the 'cage' before he became like Gwaine.

"Alright everyone- hee-haw." Arthur frowned at himself, wondering what had happened. Mordred and Merlin, who were pretending to be asleep, had to bite their lips to stop themselves from laughing. "Let me try that- hee-haw. Hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw."

"Who let a donkey in?" Percival groaned, opening his eyes and trying to loosen Gwaine's grip. The sleeping knight held tight and Percival sighed, giving in.

"I'm not a- hee-haw."

"Arthur?" Percival said, trying to stifle a laugh.

"This is not funny, this is- hee-haw!"

"It is a little funny." Percival said slowly.

"No, it's- hee-haw, hee-haw, hee-haw."

"Sir?"

"Hee-haw."

"Um…" Percival began slowly. "You have donkey ears and a donkey tail. Also, you, um. You've lost your trousers."

/

_I know it's not as long as it normally is, but I wanted to upload it this morning instead of tomorrow because I'm going to be fairly busy today and I don't know if I'll have another chance to get back on:/_

_The donkey features aren't the only thing Mordred and Merlin did :')_  
_But you are just gonna have to wait and see xD_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I'm sorry this hasn't been updated in a while, but I swear everything is against me. My computer stopped connecting to the internet, our internet is messing up and my laptop charger broke. Which means I don't have long on the internet (only until the charge runs out) and then I'm screwed. FFS. I've also been at my dad's for several days and he has no internet. I swear everything is against me! At least writing this chapter helped cheer me up and I hope it makes you laugh/smile c:_

_Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites; it really makes me happy._

_Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin._

_Sorry for grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes. Also, feel free to criticise/critique anything; I really don't mind and I never take offense. I'm always greatful for criticism. _

/

"You are so cuddly." Gwaine yawned, loosening his grip on Percival and opening his eyes. He beamed at his 'teddy bear' and everyone could tell by his smile that he was still partially drunk.

"Even if Gwaine's still hee-haw. He's not our hee-haw current problem." Arthur said through gritted teeth, crossing his arms across his chest and frowning.

"Oh my god, it's a donkey!" Gwaine shouted excitedly, his eyes wide as he scrambled to his feet. He glanced around, then frowned with disappointed, glaring at Arthur. "Aw, I wanted to ride the donkey. You're not a proper donkey!"

"Thank god!" Arthur exclaimed.

"It might not stay that way though." Merlin laughed in Mordred's head and the young knight grinned, thinking that that would be highly amusing.

/

"What has happened?!" Leon gasped as he opened his eyes. His hands were pressed against his chest and his eyebrows were furrowed together. The knights stared at him with confusion whilst Mordred and Merlin exchanged grins.

"What's the hee-haw matter?" Arthur said slowly, hoping that if he said it slow enough, he would just speak. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't the case.

"I'm a women!" Leon cried.

/

"I think maybe one of us is a sorcerer."

"Shut up, Gwaine."

/

"You know because you are women, Leon?"

"Yes, Gwaine..." Leon said slowly, still confused as to why it had to be him that became a woman.

"You could actually get pregnant with that tree."

/

"Gwaine?"

"What do you want, teddy bear?" Gwaine grinned at Percival.

"You have beautiful eyes." Percival replied. Arthur and Leon gawped at him, wondering if they'd heard him right. Merlin and Mordred stifled their laughter, trying to pretend they also had no idea what was happening when, in reality, they were the ones that cast the love spell.

"I think I love you. Let's get married."

"I think it's illegal to marry a teddy bear." Gwaine said slowly. "But if the laws change, we can get married immediately."

/

"Mordred..."

"Yeah, Gwaine?" Mordred replied slowly, hoping that Gwaine didn't want to sing him any random songs or declare his love for him.

"If you were a milkshake, I bet that you would be an oreo cookie milkshake."

/

"I bet Merlin's a sorcerer."

"What?" Merlin said loudly, shocked at what had come out of Gwaine's mouth. He was about to object and go crazy when Arthur interrupted.

"Merlin? Are you hee-haw insane- wait, hee-haw stupid question."

"You sound funny." Gwaine giggled.

"That was close." Merlin said slowly to Mordred who nodded his head in agreement, his eyes wide.

/

"Leon and that tree sitting in a tree, making B-A-B-I-E-S!"

"GWAINE!" Leon gasped, horrified that Gwaine would sing such a thing. "Me being a woman isn't funny. And I do not want a romantic relationship with that tree, thank you."

"Are you full of yourself because you're immortal?! Don't worry tree, you're too good for him. You'll find someone better and make him jealous."

/

"Can I just hee-haw shoot him?" Arthur muttered, looking for his crossbow so he could murder Gwaine who was driving him insane. His donkey ears made his hearing more sensitive and he didn't appreciate being able to hear Gwaine's singing and nonsense in higher quality.

"You cannot hurt my darling!" Percival shouted, spreading his arms out and standing before Gwaine.

"Thank you, teddy bear." Gwaine grinned, hugging Percival and then rolling along the floor to do something else.

/

"I want some cheese. More than that, I want cheese that tastes like apple pie." Gwaine grinned, talking to his boot that he'd taken from his foot.

"Your feet smell awful!" Leon muttered, turning up his nose to the foul stench.

"Why are your feet so hairy?" Arthur exclaimed, frowning at the ridiculous amount of hair on Gwaine's feet.

"I'm growing it out."

/

"Know what would be funny?" Mordred chuckled in Merlin's head. "Making Gwaine, or maybe one of the other knights bald. Or changing their hair colour. Or maybe giving them extra long hair."

"What a brilliant idea, Mordred." Merlin beamed.

/

"Arthur!" Leon said loudly, wondering what was happening to his king. Arthur turned around slowly, hoping that something horrible hadn't happened to him. Regardless, he thought nothing could be worse than being half donkey.

"Hee-haw?"

"Your ears. The fur on them has turned purple and your hair. Your hair is turning green and growing... shorter, it seems."

Arthur had been wrong; what was currently happening was so much more worse than being half donkey.

/

"Strength, courage and magic. Who was magic?" Gwaine suddenly bursted out, and Merlin's heart skipped a beat.

"Who was strength?" Arthur laughed; he knew it couldn't be Merlin, and Gwaine didn't really seem completely strong. To him, Gwaine was just a knight who was good at fighting, getting himself into trouble and drinking.

"Pixies. They don't know what they're talking about."

"Neither do hee-haw you."

/

"Are you an oreo cookie milkshake, Mordred?"

"No..."

"Shame. I really could do with a drink."

/

"I don't want to be a woman." Leon said sadly for the tenth time in the past ten minutes.

"I get hee-haw it." Arthur said through gritted teeth, though he wasn't really one to talk; he'd been complaining more about being half-donkey and he'd done it more since his hair had changed colour.

/

"You're glowing, Leon!"

"Shut up, Gwaine."

"No, literally, you look like a headlight." Percival chipped in.

"Don't you join in. Stop defending your 'love.'"

"They're hee-haw being serious. Your hair is bright red and hee-haw glowing."

"Great. Just great."

"This is so much fun." Merlin giggled.

/

"You know what's hee-haw funny, Merlin?"

"You're a donkey."

"No." Arthur scowled at his manservant. "That nothing bad has happened to you."

"It has!"

"Like what?"

"I got stuck in here with you lot."

"Idiot. I meant, since we were in here."

"And nothing has also happened to Mordred or Percival or Gwaine. Just because you're a prat, doesn't mean you can blame others for random things. You and Leon are just... unluckly."

"Clotpole."

"That's my word."

"And it suits you perfectly."

/

"I wish it would start raining apple pie cheese."

"That will never happen, Gwaine."

/

_I hope you liked it c:  
Hopefully, I'll have time to write another chapter sometime soon :D_


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